Valentine Tips

Whether you are in a relationship or are looking for one, here are some amazing tips for you. First we start with those of you struggling in relationships right now, or maybe your struggling with being single and feeling completely overwhelmed and ashamed. To understand what the energy of shame does let's first look at an example of a healthy, connected person.

When we are connected to spirit (or God) we feel loved, safe and that we can handle what life brings us. To be connected to our spirit is to be connected to truth without judgement. Our thoughts will be truthful, they will directly impact how we feel and our emotions direct our actions and finally our actions bring about our results.

Spirit is connected to thoughts

Thoughts influence our emotions

Emotions influence our actions

Actions influence our outcomes/results

Now for the energy of shame, which makes us feel broken as a person and makes us want to withdraw and hide. Simply it is the energy of complete disconnection. It also disconnects our thoughts from the truth (can't think straight), it disconnects our thoughts and emotions and finally our actions...if we can ever get moving. So if you are noticing your positive thoughts are not influencing your emotions, it may be a sign that you need to reconnect. How do you do this...

The answer is....MINDFULNESS!!!

Start with really learning the art of mindfulness and Youtube has many meditations to help you get started. From there, observe your thoughts and emotions with self compassion and finally love yourself. The next step is then to connect to others.

Now onto Tip #2..

For those of you looking for love, well this is an amazing tip for you!!!! To build a long lasting and healthy relationship you want to find someone who shares your values. To understand your values consider you happiest memories. This is when your values are fulfilled, your saddest memories is when your values were not met.

For example if your favorite memory is a vacation then some of your values might be: fun, connection, adventure ect. As for what stresses you the most, let's say money, then you likely value a sense of security. So once you know what your values are, you want to connect with someone who share similar or complimentary values. For example if you love tradition and consistency such as the same vacation destination spot and you want to start a family then meeting someone who values freedom and world exploration is not the right fit. Telling yourself you'll wait around for this person to change their values won't work either. Values are personal to each of us and do not change often or easily, as they are not supposed to.

So how do you find out about what your dates values are? Simply ask them what their happiest memory is from the past 5 years and what their happiest childhood memory. Ask they why they loved it and what made it special for them. This is a great way to keep the conversation fun, positive and learn a lot about the person you are dating.

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