Creating energy boundaries is about a clear intention and emotion. Energy work is about intention, the clearer the intention the stronger the energy. If you are uncertain about your boundaries, have a lot of gray area or multiple exceptions to when you’re boundaries are valid you will find it exhausting and ineffective in your energy.
If you haven’t yet read last week’s blog Creating Energy Boundaries Part 1 I would recommend you do that now. There is a saying “As above, so below”. To really have effective social and spiritual boundaries you will want them to be the same, this means your social boundaries should also have a spiritual or energy boundary as well.
What Are Energy Boundaries?
Social boundaries are what you need for your wellbeing and the behavior you will and will not accept from others. Energy boundaries are about what energy you will and will not accept into your emotional and energy space. This also stops you from taking on others energy, by allowing yourself to be with your own energy. In Part 1 we explored the example of a life style choice where you decide to not drink alcohol as apart of a healthy lifestyle. This week we’ll see how to set this as an energy boundary.
What I Need
In Part 1 we see a scenario where an alcoholic beverage is offered and the first introduction of the boundary is set by simply expressing “No thank you, I don’t drink alcohol”. This is a clear intention and when delivered with the right energy or emotion will be much more effective. The choice to not drink alcohol is for health reasons that creates the emotion of vitality. Expressing this need with feelings of confidence and vitality creates both a clear social and energy boundary.
What I Need From You
Now that your energy and intention are clear the other party will likely understand and no further action is needed. In this case however they continue to insist you have a drink. The next action is to express what you need from the person by reminding them you do not drink alcohol and they do not need to ask you again. The energy here is the same, to deliver the message feeling confidence and vitality. However the other person feels about this is for them to process, you do not need to make them feel better about your choice. Pay attention that you do not use your energy to sooth the other person, or absorb their energy so they feel better. Also do not send them your energy in hopes they will comply. Hold your space, again this is about you feel your feelings and use your own energy and they do the same for themselves.
Now we enter into what many people will find awkward, but necessary. It’s time to take action. This person continues to insist and offer you the beverage and it’s time to remove yourself physically and energetically from the situation. You express that you will be leaving and if this is to be expected the next time you are invited you will not be attending. Energetically you express this again with the emotions of confidence and vitality, because you believe in your boundaries and if you feel angry or disappointed it is ok to express this in a healthy and respectful way.
Now you are away from the situation it is time to release any emotions you feel. Take a moment and acknowledge how you felt about this situation and feel your feelings. Ignoring them just means you deal with it at a later date, if you can process them now, do so. Next acknowledge who you were being in this situation. In this case respectful and confident, you know who you are as a person and that makes you feel good. Now focus your attention on something in the now. This says I will not contribute my energy any further, nor will I take this energy with me.
Energy flows where your attention goes. In this case it is clear where energy boundaries are really about feeling your own feelings and allowing others to feel their own. You’re taking ownership about what you allow into your life and energy. You do not use your energy to make others feel better or to do what you want, nor do you absorb their negative energy so others feel better or do what they want. It is a good thing that others should feel uncomfortable or awkward for mistreating you, it deters future attempts to continue. If they continue then you know this is not the right situation for you, whether it be social or energetic. If it became energetically uncomfortable for other to drain your energy or dump their negative energies on you, do you think they would continue? Most likely not, because most people do this because they are trying to sooth their own pain, whether they realize it or not. If draining your energy or dumping their energy on you makes them feel awkward instead of good, they will likely have to find an alternative source or hopefully take the appropriate steps to heal. We teach others how we want to be treated, this goes for our energy as well.
If you need help learning to do this you can always book a session. As always, if you like this content them please show your love. Like! Comment! Share!